Back at It, Again!

          Well, it is only 11:36 and I am pretty positive that I will be in bed before 1:00 AM!!! That is a great start to my BDay, LOL!   Of course, that doesn't mean that I will actually fall asleep, but I love knowing that the potential to sleep is there.  It takes so long for my mind to shut down so that I can sleep.  I just keep thinking about the huge to-do list that I have and creating a schedule in my mind of when and how I will complete everything on it.  Then, I "erase" that schedule and create a new one. I sometimes wonder if going back on Zoloft would be beneficial, but then I quickly say, "No".  I have been able to manage and keep myself from completely losing it in the past eight months, with only a few moments of complete meltdown proportions. . . and I love not being dependent on any medications.  No more blood pressure issues and no more Zoloft.  No more Excedrin Migraine or Advil to keep the migraines and arthritis pain away.  Just my supplements and some Gas X strips (LOL).  I know that I always get anxious when the end of something is coming near.  I just want it to be over so that I can move on to the next stage or part.  The school year is ending. . . and I just want to start planning for next year!  So, I just need to keep my focus and work through a few more sleepless nights and I will be able to get myself in check. I have taken a few Unisom the past few nights, and they do seem to help a bit.  I don't want to become dependent on them, though, so I am not sure that I want to keep taking them.  We shall see. 
          Play rehearsal is going really well, and I am so excited!  The cast and crew are fabulous.  I REALLY hope some of you can make it to a show.  If you do, stick around and say "hello" afterwards! And, let me know if you are coming so that I can tell everyone that my friends are in the audience! I mean, come on! When will you have another chance to see five women in the same ridiculous 80s bridesmaid attire?  I do love performing, though.  Hopefully, I will get to sing again soon.  I will be doing some good ol' karaoke for my birthday, though! :-) 
          Weight is at around 154, so it is going down slowly, but surely.  Saturday I walked several miles around Twin Lakes with Cira and did some geocaching while Glenn fished.  I walked up the hill to the two picnic areas from the upper lake -- the hill near the small parking lot with the wishing well. I wasn't even out of breath!!!! We even jogged a bit!!! Now, I can't do a lot of running or jogging because the arthritis just hates it, but I can do a little bit. :-) Last night I came home and took Cira for a three mile walk/run/jog on the Five Star Trail and did some more caching.  It felt SO good to be outside and not in pain while moving.  I can't wait until this weekend --- I hope that I get the chance to do some more exercise.  WOW! There is a phrase that I haven't said in a LONG time. 
        Food is pretty much what it is.  I try new things if I want to try them, but I just don't think about food all of the time anymore.  I get bored every once in awhile because I get into ruts as far as what I eat day-to-day, but I can change things up pretty easily.  I would eat the same things every day before I had surgery, so that is not new; it's just that now I want what I eat to matter, so I don't want to just eat something to eat it or because it's convenient.  I want to enjoy what I eat but I am very certain that when I do eat, it is something that will satisfy my need for food and what I am hungry for at the same time.  Every once in awhile I just stop and think back to how far I have come in the past 14 months. . . the change in not only my physical person, but also my mental person is sobering, to say the least.  And invigorating and exciting all at the same time.  I am so blessed to be where I am and have the support that I do. 
        And with that, I will end and turn in for the night.  Until next time. . . 

Glenndini and I saying good-bye to the beach. . .