I Bought a Coat!!!

           I bought a new winter coat today!!!  Now, to some of you that may not seem like a big deal, but I haven’t had a winter coat in over 10 years.  Being overweight, coats just felt bulky and uncomfortable, so I never wore them.  I had a denim jacket that I wore -- that was it.  Today, I bought a new denim jacket AND a real winter coat!  Another milestone in my journey - buying a winter coat at Walmart, off-the-rack, XL. I wore that coat right outta the store, one because I was so freaking proud of myself, and two, because it was so freaking cold!!!

            Eating today was hit or miss.  I had a couple coffees (Keurig and Starbucks), a bit of the leftover chili, a mozzarella cheese stick, a tiny bit of wedding soup, a cupcake, and a tiny bit of peanut butter.  Odd combinations, I know, but things just haven’t been sitting well with me and I’ve felt really gassy and bloated, so I have to go back and forth to see what I can handle and what I can’t.  It wasn’t the best day, but I don’t feel hungry at all.  I still need to work on drinking more clear liquids, though. I just don’t do it enough.  I did eat two popsicles last night, so that may be a way for me to get some clear liquid into the system, but I just need to step it up a notch as far as that goes. 

            Today I had a phone conference about my internship for my PhD program, and I feel so much better about it!  I revamped it so that I am able to take on more of a leadership role in a few areas at school.  My supervisor and professor were really happy with the ideas, and I am stoked about the whole thing.  It will be a challenge, but a rewarding one that will give me authentic experience for what I want to do in the future.  It would be great if I could be a curriculum director for the district, but that is not going to happen anytime soon, unfortunately.  I definitely need a bit more experience before I am ready to take on that role, and I think that the internship will provide that experience. 

            I also got my tattoo in memory of my kitty, Puck.  I know I sound like a broken record, but damn, do I miss that cat.  It’s perfect, and the perfect memory of him.  I can see it and hold it right to my heart. 

            I didn’t get home until almost 9:00, so unfortunately after unpacking the groceries, paying bills, and taking care of some other household chores, there isn’t much time left for “rel work”.  I will have to pick up the pace tomorrow so that I do not get too far behind this week.  I want to be able to go out and enjoy my hubby’s band Saturday night at the Youngwood Fire Hall.  If you are a local reader, come on out! We can dance to some great music!

            On that note, I am going to close and get some sleep.  Until tomorrow. . . 

Latest "After" Shot, sporting my Halloween gear

My tattoo, You will always be my kitty <3

My buddy was always right by my side, no matter how late into the night I worked.

Back At It

           WOW!  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, and I thank all of you for your patience and understanding as I was away for my last PhD Colloquium.  It was worth the stress and effort, though, because I have a dissertation topic!!!  WOOT!  Now, I have to finish courses, clinical internship, and comps. . .then it’s dissertation time in July.  Holy moly, it’s hard to believe that two years after starting my PhD program, I will be in the dissertation phase.  The dream is within reach!

            It was such an incredible weekend, too.  I spent some time with old friends and made some new ones.   The emails and Facebook posts have been flying since our returns home, giving each other safety wishes for the storm and encouraging words to keep plugging away toward the goal.  My table -- Becky, Jolie, Hillary, Paul, Stacey, LaShae, and Bernardo -- are people with whom a bond was formed.  Some on a personal, life-long level, and others maybe on more of a professional level, but the connection is there.  It was so rewarding to be with like-minded people and discuss professional ideas, innovations, and possibilities.  It definitely fueled my passion for what I am doing and my aspirations.  The motto for the weekend:  See you at graduation!!!

            It does make my going back to work a bit of a struggle, though.  I have to come to terms with the fact that I have come to the end of my growth in my current position.  Sure, I can make a difference in my classroom and work with colleagues to make changes, but on a district level, on a scholarly level, I have gone as far as I can go.  Although I can’t really move away at this point because I would never take my hubby away from his passion -- the band -- I can start to look elsewhere for places through which I can find fulfillment.  Change is always a bit scary, but it is time for that change to be made.

            Recovery-wise, I had a rough day.  I ate some eggs earlier and they did not go over too well. I had to go back to bed for a bit.  The protein shake that I tried afterwards did not sit too well, either.  I finally had some chili tonight and was able to stay upright.  I think my body is just not ready for the schedule that I keep, but I have no choice.  Life is what it is.  I am not able to stay home longer, and I need to work to keep things going.  I know that it will all work out in the end, but I am having a rocky time right now balancing my desire to get back to a normal routine.

            Weight-wise, things are looking good!  I am down to 194.2!!!  And, this weekend, I wore cool outfits and actually felt like a normal person.  I wore skirts and dresses and jeans and even a stylish green jacket! Oh, and I crossed my legs like a girl when sitting!  I didn’t realize it at first, but at one point while listening to a presenter, I realized that my legs were crossed at the knee, not the ankle.  It’s been years since I could do that! Plus, I spent the weekend with great friends, old and new, went out to eat, and did not feel as if I had to sacrifice anything.  I ordered a wine if I wanted it (although I never finish a glass), fish that was prepared either baked or in a way that I could enjoy, and even dessert.  Of course, I only ate a few bites of the dessert - half at most - but I never felt like I was not able to enjoy myself.  Lunch on Saturday did not go over too well, but I think that it was the way the hotel prepared the fish that did me in.  In all, this weekend demonstrated that I will be able to sustain the changes in my life because they are not preventing me from living.   

            Okey dokey, it is late and I need to get some sleep so that I am not a zombie for Halloween, unintentionally.  ;-)  It is good to be back, for sure.  Until tomorrow . . .

And It Has Begun . . .

            Wow, has this been an incredibly busy and exhausting week.  Good, but my body is definitely having some issues keeping up with my schedule now.  Friday night I went to see the band and had a great time.  Wonderful friends and good music; doesn’t get much better than that.  My friends Greg, Ed, and Sue came, along with two of Sue’s friends, Autumn and Kirsten.  It was so good to have them there to support my Glenndini and to just have a good time. :-)

            Yesterday, I went to get my Oz tattoo.  It is totally ozsome!!  Brian Corley at Unique Ink in Greensburg absolutely rocked it and got it right.  I have an appointment on Halloween to get a tattoo in memory of Puck. I am getting something small on my wrist.  His name and maybe a heart or paw print. Nothing too extravagant, but another way to always have my buddy with me each and every day.  I still miss him like crazy, and every time I think about him I get teary. I miss my Puckaroo something fierce, for sure. 

            After the tattoo, I went to run errands; the first stop was Barnes & Noble, and I ended up wandering through the store looking at everything.  Then, I took my choices to the coffee shop, had a Pumpkin Spice latte  (skim milk, no whip) while I looked through them and made final decisions.  I went to Kohl’s, Target, and Wal-mart to look for clothes and get groceries.  At some point in Barnes and Noble, I realized that I needed to just take some time, be by myself, and do something other than school or PhD work.  I was in what I call a “burn out coma”; they occur when the realization of the amount of work that must be completed is so overwhelming that your brain and body just shuts down for several hours.  I needed to separate myself for a bit and take care of some other things so that I could spend today focusing on my work again. 

            That separation meant that today was all work and no play, though.  Since I didn’t get to bed until around 5:30 this morning, I didn’t wake up until 11:00 woke me up to say good-bye before he left for his show this afternoon.  I ate breakfast, watched a little TV, and got to work.  I finished my replies to discussion posts for PhD work, updated my teacher website, did lesson plans and answer keys for the week, read some for PhD work, and then had to take a bit of a nap because I was head bobbing at the desk.  During the Steelers game, I reworked my internship proposal so that it could be resubmitted for this week’s assignment.   Of course, I had to stop a few times to eat, take Cira out, clean the tattoo, etc., but it really has been a work-filled day.  I am slow going at it though, and that is so frustrating!  I hate that it takes me so long to accomplish things.  I know that I am doing my best and want to put my best into everything, but sometimes I feel like I am the slowest person on earth when it comes to work. 

            Well, it is time to go to bed and try to get some sleep. It will be a long day tomorrow, but I may be able to get a nap in when I get home before I hit the books again.  I will be out of town for a PhD Colloquium from Wednesday late until Sunday evening, so I want to be as productive as possible tomorrow and Tuesday.  Wish me luck!

            Until tomorrow. . . 

Almost Friday!

        Well, I made it through the first week! I am utterly worn out, exhausted, but it will feel great to have a full week under my belt after tomorrow.  The kids have been great so far, and it really doesn't feel like I have been gone that long. But it is definitely busy, busy, busy, as expected.  Yesterday was a rough day. I woke up and did not feel too swift from the get-go because Monday and Tuesday were both late nights.  I couldn't even get my contacts in -- my eyes just wouldn't let me put them in. I ended up getting sick after eating some egg whites for lunch, and just never felt right the rest of the day.  
       Today was a much better day.  I had some sliced turkey and a cheese stick for breakfast/lunch, my morning coffee, three pieces of sugar free licorice, two and a half veggie "nuggets" with some mango salsa, one of the ice cream mini-sandwiches, and two BelVita crackers/cookies.  I have been getting in a lot of fluid today, too, which is good.  I know that I need to focus on getting more to drink.  
        I stopped at the YWCA Thrift Store after school today and bought a few things to wear.  I was pretty happy.  It took me an hour and a half to look through everything, try clothes on, and purchase.  I was so tired of putting clothes on and taking them off by the end of that time, though.  It was nice to be buying up those smaller sizes, but the time that it takes to shop is crazy.  I do need to get a few more tops, though, so that I really can switch things up a bit.  I don't want to be wearing the same five outfits each week, LOL.  I got home and did a bit of work while the band practiced.  Now, I am getting ready to get to sleep. I am falling asleep while I type . . . .
        Overall, I am feeling pretty good.  Exercise is not going well this week, but I am going to try an be okay with that at the moment because I am trying to get ready to being back to work and my crazy schedule.  I seem to have hit a slump, and have wavered between 199.8 and 200 for a few days.  I have been uber-stressed about my PhD work this week, so I am sure that hasn't helped too much.  I am still not on any meds, which is what I want, even though a kick of Zoloft would probably do me some good right now. I am still determined to get through this without and meds and with everything doing well. 
       And, with that, I must end.  I have just nodded off while typing.  Oops. :-) 
       Until tomorrow. . . 

Whew, I'm Tuckered Out. . .

             Today was pretty good, and I made it through the day pretty nicely.  Mammogram after school, home, quick dinner, power nap, and back up at 8:30 so that I could move to the desk and get to work.  It was a nice little power nap, but it definitely means that I was up later than I should have been tonight.

            So, I have hit the under 200 mark! I have been at 199.8 for a couple of days.  That is so freakin’ awesome.  I have not been under 200 pounds in ten years.  TEN YEARS!!!  It is a fabulous feeling, and definitely adds to the motivation factor.  I am hoping to hit the YWCA Thrift Shop in Greensburg Thursday evening so that I can pick up a few more things to wear; I know that I will be in this size for a month or so, and I don’t want to be wearing the same thing every day, LOL.  Plus, I won’t be able to do laundry at Colloquia next week and I want to have some comfy clothes to wear, not all so much dress clothes. 

            Food-wise, today was okay.  Better than yesterday.  I had my morning coffee and a cheese stick, sipped on my water all day, ate some leftover chicken for lunch, had the rest of the BelVita pack from yesterday, finished the leftover chicken for dinner, and had a few bites of egg whites.  Another coffee, too, but I am trying to bust out PhD work and it was a necessity. The amount of chicken I ate in both meals equaled about the size of ¾ of a Ho-Ho.  It was yummy with the ricotta and sauce, and doesn’t make me miss the pasta too much. 

            Exercise has not happened too much this past week because I am simply trying to get through the days at this point.  I am up and moving around a lot more than I have been, so hopefully that is a good thing for now.  I need to get back to a semi-normal routine so that I can figure out how in the heck that I am going to fit it in with everything else.  For those of you on the journey, too, we can do this. . . .we just have to keep plugging on and figure it out as we go.  But with us cheering one another on, we will definitely meet the challenges!!

            Until tomorrow. . . . 

Welcome Back!

            Wow, today was a long day!  I got home from my first day back to school around 5:30, changed into comfy clothes, tried to eat some dinner but it wasn’t sitting too well, and crashed on the couch until around 9:45.  Drool on the pillow and everything.  I am wiped out, but I have to do some PhD work and get some things ready for tomorrow.  Hopefully, I can get to bed around 1:00 - 1:30. 

            I have a doctor appointment after school tomorrow, so I need to scoot out of the building really fast. Ugh. That is never fun.  It is so hard to leave on time because it takes a few minutes to get things ready for the next day.  I hate walking into my room without things ready to go.  I hate that about anything, really.  Waking up to dishes being done or the living room being disheveled . . . it just makes my day feel like it is already off to a rocky start.  When I get home in the evening, I need to make a much better effort to not crash on the couch so that I can get some work completed.  I know that it will take a bit of time to adjust to a new schedule with a new body chemistry, but I don’t want it to take too long.  I want to get out of the rut of Work-Nap-Work-Sleep-Work, etc.  I would like to be able to sleep like a normal person so that I can inject a bit of enjoyment into my evenings. 

            Work went well today.  It was good to see so many wonderful friends who are genuinely happy for me and the changes that I am making.  I didn’t eat too much today, though.  My stomach just wasn’t happy.  Of course, it could be the cramps. Who knows.  I ate a few bites of cottage cheese with pureed pears, a cheese stick, one bite of left over scallops, a few bites of sugar-free pudding with protein powder, a BelVita cracker, a few bites of chicken with ricotta and sauce, a few pizza bites, a Weight Watchers mini iced cream sandwich, and a piece of sugar-free Twizzler.  Now, mind you, a few bites for me is using a baby spoon. Literally about ¼ of a teaspoon.  I might have to go back to some softer foods for a bit until I adjust to the new schedule.  The ice cream and pudding were so much easier to digest and felt good in my belly, but nothing else was like that which is why I had a bite of this and a bite of that.  Everything together probably added up to the size of one chicken breast -- even though it sounds like I ate a ton.  Got in all of the vitamins, too.  I didn’t get much water in today, either, but I sipped and sipped all day long.  Real coffee in the morning, two decafs throughout the day, and my Nalgene with me at all times. :-) Overall, not the best day as far as eating is concerned, but it ended better than it began. 

            Work went well, too. I had a few moments in the middle of the day where I was so glad to have Katie (my sub) with me because she was able to take over and I could have a bit of a break.  I was dizzy a bit in the afternoon, too, but I am sure that is because I was moving around and not able to eat or drink as much as I wanted to do throughout the day.  I was able to get through the Forensic practice, too, and there was a big group of kids there, so I am hoping that it stays that way.  It is tons more work, but tons more fun to have a lot of kids involved, as opposed to one or two. Actually makes it more of a team and competitive atmosphere.  The kids seemed to be pretty good, too, and a few classes I can tell will be a lot of great discussion. So, I am back in the saddle again. . . feels like I never left, in a way.

            Time to get to bed and try this sleeping thing again. Until tomorrow. . . .   

Full Day with Another on Deck. . .

        Another busy couple of days, with more busy days ahead!  Last night I returned from Open House and   was simply exhausted.  I checked my email, ate a small snack, and went directly to bed.  I had a hard time keeping my eyes open by the time I crawled into bed.  Open House went well, which was expected.  It's such a quick evening, and by the time you get started, each 10 minute period is over.  I got to school around 3:20 - right when the busses were leaving and did see a few kids.  It was good to see them.  A student stayed after to help me switch out back-to-school decorations to Halloween decorations, and I put away the things that I had brought to school.  After an hour, it felt as if I'd never left.  Just like that. I am not certain that I am completely ready to go back, but I am at least ready to go back for Monday.  Tomorrow I will type up my lesson plans and be ready to go on Monday.
        Today was another busy day, for sure.  I woke up and spent two hours -- yes, two hours -- going through the stack of mail that I brought home with me from school.  Ugh. Then, it was some paperwork for Capella and PhD course work.  Next was actual PhD homework.  Cleaned the car, did some laundry, then got ready to go with a friend to another friend's show.  Dinner was yummy!  I had grilled tilapia with crab and shrimp and a glass of wine.  Well, I drank 2/3 of the wine and brought home the veggies, potatoes, and over half of the fish.  It will be a nice meal or two or three, LOL, for tomorrow.  In the morning, the repair folks are supposed to be here in the morning to check out the stove, and then I need to go out and do some serious shopping. Groceries, for sure, but I need to get some more clothes.  I definitely need more than the one pair of pants that I have right now.  I am a bit nervous about shopping, though, because it is going to take quite a while.  I hope to hit a few thrift stores tomorrow, instead of just retail.  Wish me luck!
         I will say that it has felt fabulous to be wearing my new size 14 pants the last two days.  I found a pair of black pants and a pair of jeans at Macy's that are really comfortable.  Of course, they were on clearance and I probably won't find them again, LOL, but I will need new sizes in a month or so anyway.  I don't want to wear my bigger clothes anymore after wearing the ones that fit.  It would be like going backwards!  It helps me see the progress that I have made, absolutely.  I noticed Wednesday night at the Ferguson show and tonight at the theater that I fit into the seats easier, too.  I wasn't cramped, and I didn't feel as if I was a sausage stuffed into a too-small casing.  It was a wonderful feeling and was another key to my recognizing my progress.
         The time has come to end for the night and get some sleep for another big day tomorrow.  Date night with Glenndini is tomorrow, too.  Going to dinner and to sing some karaoke. :-)
        Until tomorrow. . .
       

Great Day

     Today was a long day, but a good one.  My phone did not charge overnight because the charger was not working, so I did not wake up until later than I had wanted.  I spent the morning taking care of some paperwork and doing discussion posts for PhD courses.  Then, it was time to get ready for our evening out.  We met friends for dinner and then went to see Craig Ferguson at The Palace.  Dinner was yummy - we went to J. Corks.  I ordered a scallops dinner and ate two of the scallops with three of the green beans;  it was scrumptious.  I even had a bit of white wine and a bite of hot pretzel appetizer.  The dinner came with mac-n-cheese, gourmet of course, and I had one little noodle.  It was good, but I didn't want to overeat and be miserable during the show.  It was so nice to relax with good friends and just talk and hang out.  
      The show was hilarious, and I laughed the entire time.  Ferguson is a nut, that's for sure.  He was just going and going the entire time.  His opening act was the guy who is the voice behind Geoff, the skeleton robot on his show.  I will never hear Morgan Freeman's voice the same way again, LOL.  They were a bit raunchy, but funny.  I would definitely go see them again. 
      Tomorrow I will be going to school for Open House.  I am a bit nervous, for sure.  I am going to get to school around 3:00 so that I can work in my room prior to Open House and get ready for Monday, as I said.  I think that getting back into a routine will be the best way to help me start to get a grip on things again.  I know that when I don't have to do anything, I tend not to, so I am hoping that is my biggest issue at the moment.  When I won't have tomorrow to work on something, I might feel more motivated to get things done today.  Only time will tell. 
      Well, it is time to try and sleep, if I can get comfortable and fend of gas and back pains for a bit.  Until tomorrow. . . 

Gotta Keep Pushing On

The Internet is back!  The Comcast tech was here on time, and not only fixed us up with wireless, but also fixed the TV connections so that we have much better picture.  Thanks, Comcast guy!  Of course, with the Internet fixed, I had to do some work this morning, so I did get a few things accomplished (like cleaning the oven) before I took a nap.  Glenn went hunting after work, so I did a few things around the house.  I made him stuffed hot peppers for dinner, but this time put some of the seeds and crushed red pepper flakes in with the ground turkey.  Also, I included onions, green pepper, and red pepper.  I sprinkled some crumbled blue cheese on top, too.  I made the shrimp spread from Leach’s book, but I am not a fan -- too much of an onion flavor from the scallions.  I am so bummed. I was looking forward to it so much!!  I hope Glenndini likes it, or I will have to be creative about a use for it.  I hate to throw it away.

            I spent the evening doing work for PhD courses and trying to not feel so overwhelmed.  I did make a pretty big dent in the list, so I am feeling better.  I am hoping that when I get back to work and rehearsal and course work and forensics and . . .well, you get the picture . . . .that I will feel an increase in my motivation and focus.  I know that not taking my depression/anxiety med is probably still a factor in my inability to focus and absence of motivation to return to work, but I am hoping that it is also a case of “doing nothing” equaling “not wanting to do anything”.  Does that make sense?  It is nice to be able to take care of the house, laundry, cleaning, pack lunches, etc. rather than have them hanging over my head, but I know that not having to HAVE to have things done plays a factor in not getting them done.  I just want to be able to enjoy things, and I know that when I get back to work, things will become insanely busy again.  I don’t like the feeling of guilt I experience when I go to see the band instead of stay home to grade papers or do course work.  It is just a matter of finding that balance and ways to cope that work for me - without the help of medication.

            Tomorrow I am going to “get purpled” -- my hair done.  I have to stop at the YWCA Thrift Shop in Greensburg, too, to find some clothes to wear.  I need to do that for work, and I don’t want to buy new clothes every time I need a new size.  I need some new shoes, too, but I think that my feet have lost weight.  Is that possible?   Were even my feet fat?  Geez.  Then, I need to stop at Unique Ink to drop off/discuss the tattoo.  As my Facebook post noted, I narrowed the lyric, and I think that I may end up with both.  I just can’t decide, and I do like both.  They both have a place in my heart and who I am as a person.  Definitely need to talk to the artist and figure it out.  Tomorrow night the band is at Teddy’s in Irwin for an acoustic show.  I am really going to try and go.  I may have to take the laptop and do some work, but that is okay.  I can have a decaf and enjoy some good tunes. :-) Glenn is going hunting again after work, so if he gets a deer, he may not make it.  Might be a true acoustic show, LOL.  But we will be eatin’ good if so!!

            Well, I am going to read a bit for enjoyment before I try to get some sleep.  Until tomorrow. . . 

Here I Go . . .

This weekend has been a long one, although good.  I have felt kind of funky all weekend -- just gassy and uncomfortable.  I looked online this morning and apparently the gas that they pump into you during surgery can take many weeks to work out of your system.  I think that the back pain that I’ve been having is because of this gas.  I had a good time at the baby shower/Open House yesterday, too; it was nice to visit with folks that we haven’t seen for awhile.  We stopped home to let Cira out, and I just wasn’t feeling up to going out for the rest of the evening, so we ended up staying in.  I started reading Mockingjay, though, and it is fabulous.  I actually fell asleep with it on my face, LOL.  I only have a few more pages to go, so I am hoping to finish it tonight or tomorrow.  
PhD classes start this week, so no more thoughts of relaxing for me.  As usual, I did not get much of anything accomplished in the three-week break between quarters.  At least I don’t feel as if I did.  I have one class and my clinical internship -- which are the online courses that I am developing that I keep talking about -- but based on the syllabi that I printed tonight, the quarter is going to once again eat away at my life.  I wish that I could take a sabbatical.  It would allow me to focus on my course work without always feeling so run down and exhausted, or guilty for doing something other than school work or course work.  Also, I have the last four-day Colloquia coming up in a few weeks. Yikes!!! At the last one, I start to really narrow down my thinking and put my dissertation ideas on paper.  AAHH!!  Wow, that is a great feeling and a scary as hell feeling at the same time.  I mean, I have some ideas, but not anything too set-in-stone.  I better do some serious thinking in the next few weeks!  
Eating today has been pretty low-key.  I certainly didn’t overeat this weekend, but having two get-togethers/parties, I did eat “normal” food.  I had some pumpkin cream of wheat for breakfast, a Colby jack cheese stick for lunch, two BelVita crackers with Justin’s Chocolate Almond Butter for snack, and two vegetarian “chicken” nuggets with a bit of sauce and mozzarella on them for dinner.  I am a bit hungry at the moment, but at this point it is only a protein drink, if anything.  I do feel a bit better; not such a heavy feeling.  
Well, I can feel the stress level rising as I think about the amount of work that I need to accomplish, so I am going to attempt some sleep.  The Comcast tech person will be here between 10:00 and noon to install wireless since out router pooped out.  I tried to reinstall the software, but our laptops are too new for it.  So, time to upgrade.  Thus, I must try to get some rest so that I can be ready to get to work once the system is restored. 
Until tomorrow. . . 

Great Friday

            Well, this has been a long, busy day, but a good one.  Last night, I crashed around 9:30 and didn’t wake up until 7:00 this morning.  It was a quick cup of pumpkin spice coffee before the house cleaning began.  Scrubbing, dusting, vacuuming, . . . ugh.  Then, I was off for some errands.  I stopped at Unique Ink and ordered a new nose stud -- purple rhinestone -- and scheduled an appointment to get some artwork for my poppies and U2 lyric tattoo.  Yippee!  Once I get that one, I will get one for Puck.  I am still not sure where I want that one, so I am holding off until I figure it out.  The poppies and lyrics will be on my foot/ankle. 

            We had a few people over tonight -- my parents, friend Greg, and friends Gary & Angela & their son Bry -- for a small campfire. I made some turkey chili, which was really good, and bought stuff for s’mores.  I even enjoyed a few bites of a s’more and a piece of chocolate, as well as a few sips of wine and a bit of margarita.  I felt fine.  Now I certainly wasn’t guzzling anything or eating a complete serving of anything, but it did feel good to know that I could have a taste of things while at a party or something.  We sat around the fire pit and BS’ed for awhile.  No rain spoiled the evening, either. :-)

            Tomorrow is a busy day, too.  A baby shower and a band performance to see.  I hope to get a few things done in the morning, but I am not sure how early I will be climbing out of bed.  I have been on the go since I woke up, and a looking forward to going to bed soon.  Sunday will be auditions for McKeesport Little Theater’s children’s shows for Christmas.  I know that it will be a lot of work, but I really miss it.  Plus, PhD courses start again Tuesday, so I need to get into the course rooms and print the all of the information and weekly lessons.  Time to really think about balance again.

            This morning the scale read 203.8 but I am sure that after tonight it may be up a bit.  Not that I ate a lot but I did have more sugary types of food than normal.  I have done a ton of walking this week, along with cleaning and decorating, so exercising is becoming a good thing.  Monday begins the workout schedule.  I know that I was planning to do some of the days for the end of this week, but time is running out.  I feel much better today; my back is not nearly as sore as it has been throughout the beginning of the week.  Thank goodness!  The pain was really starting to become unbearable.  It must have known that I bought some Tylenol, lol.  I called the Dr. to see what I was allowed to take, and Sandy told me that I am allowed topicals and Tylenol, but no anti-inflammatories or steroids.  I didn’t ask about cold medicines, but that will be the question for when I have a cold.

            Well, not much to share today, but it has gotten much later and I am in need of sleep.  So, until tomorrow. . . 

Hump Day Happenings

            Hello, Friends!  Last night was another night that just snuck up on me and I was tuckered out from a busy day.  I haven’t felt 100% the last couple of days -- probably because I completely overdid it on Monday.  But I like having my Halloween decorations up and ready to be enjoyed.  At any rate, I had not slept much Monday night, so yesterday kicked my butt.  I did walk on the treadmill and do some arm weights when I woke up, ate an egg for breakfast, packed my computer and school bag, got ready, and headed to school for the workshop.  Afterwards, I had to stop for a few groceries that I had forgotten on Monday.  I hate that - I have a list, and I STILL forget things.  Grr.  Anyway, it was nice to see my friends from school, and once the workshop started, I slipped right back into my old self, joking and asking questions, and trying to lighten the mood so-to-speak.  I mean, who wants to sit through three hours of computer training after working all day, right?  I did learn a few things, though, so I was happy with it.  Of course, since I am developing two online courses, I had a higher stake in the workshop than most.  I don’t know that I am ready to go back to school whole-hog, but I don’t really have a choice now, do I? LOL. 

            When I got home, I did a few odds-and-ends while watching the NCISes with Glenndini, had a snack, and promptly realized that I needed to sleep.  I woke up this morning with an incredible back ache so after I packed Glenndini’s lunch, I went back to bed with a heating pad that didn't do the trick, so I switched to Icy Hot.  I think that I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.  When I finally rolled out of bed, I knew that exercise was not happening.  I did some paperworky types of things, made some phone calls, and then went to pick up my niece to go out for her “birthday date”.  I started taking my niece and nephew out for their birthdays so that we could have dinner, visit, and then they could shop for their own present.  Caitlin has grown into such a beautiful, intelligent young woman, and I truly had a great time just being with her.  I am so blessed that at 15 (OMG!  FIFTEEN!!!) that she still wants to spend time with “Aunt Lis”.  We talked about going to see Frankenweenie next weekend with Ryan, and then having a sleepover.  That would be fabulous, so I hope it works out.  She and I used to watch Nightmare Before Christmas when she was only two and three, and she knew the entire movie off-by-heart.  Now, we can enjoy another Tim Burton creation. 

            I also tried on a “one-size-fits-all” shawl type of jacket and guess what?? It fit!  I didn’t try anything on except a couple pairs of shoes, but I was excited to think that I could find clothes to wear at JCP.  We played at Sephora, too, and I really hate to admit it, but I like to experiment with make-up and stuff.  For so long, I haven’t because I haven’t felt pretty or as if I should waste time and money on myself because I wouldn’t look good anyway.  Today, I wanted to have a full-blown make-over and buy so much stuff!  It was fun to play around with stuff. I might have to have a make-up service appointment so that I can learn a bit more about the various products that they sell. 

            Eating wasn’t a big deal today, either.  I had an egg, like I said, for breakfast.  We went to Eat-n-Park for dinner and they were great.  I ordered a piece of cod baked, in water.  My sides were cottage cheese and applesauce.  Of course, I only ate a few bites of each of the sides and half of the fish.  But it was good, and I was happy.  I had decaf, too, not even a whole cup.  Tonight, I had a piece of cheese with some hummus and a few Special K crackers.  I can use the hummus and cheese to crunch up the crackers really well.  And, my nightcap was a cookies and cream protein shake, recipe from Susan Leach.  I made it with chocolate protein powder instead of vanilla, and it is yummy, yummy. Of course, I only had a few sips and I am full, so I can look forward to finishing it tomorrow.  I use her book for the recipes, but I am pretty sure they can be found on her website, www.bariatriceating.com.  The foods are GOOD, but simply watch portion size, sugar and fat content, and carb count.  Glenndini has enjoyed everything that I have made so far, and we do not feel as if we are being shortchanged on taste at all.  Give some a try - you might be surprised! 

            Tomorrow is a busy day, too, but I need to spend some time getting some more work down for the online courses.  I made my to-do list, and I need to try and conquer it. Also, my friend sent the work out plan, so I want to hit that running.  I can start it on Sunday according to the schedule, but I can still do the days for the remainder of this week to get into a routine.  So, I am going to end this and try to get to sleep before it is more tomorrow than it already is. 

            Until tomorrow. . . 

Shopping, and Cooking, and Decorating, Oh My!

            Another long, long day, but a productive one.  I am literally aching and sore all over.  I have been on my feet since 2:30 this afternoon.  I visited with a friend for an hour or so, bought a baby gift at Target (Woo Hoo, Jen and Mike!), and then did the grocery shopping.  As soon as I got home and got everything put away, I made Glenndini some oatmeal cookies.  It is a Weight Watchers recipe, and pretty yummy.  It uses apples and Splenda blend brown sugar.  Then, I put the stuffed mushrooms I bought for him in the oven with some sauce and blue cheese.  Then, I made the pizza casserole from Susan Leach’s book for dinner/lunches for the next couple days.  THEN, I made the spiced pumpkin custard from her book, too.  I haven’t tried one of those yet; however, the pizza bake was really tasty, even without the fennel seed.  Giant Eagle did not have fennel seed, so I will be on the lookout for it in other stores since she claims it really adds to the taste of the meal.  I only ate a scrambled egg with cheese, a small bit of the pizza bake, and sipped on my pumpkin shake from yesterday.  I have been trying to drink water all day, but just don’t have room.  I have to get some more protein in during the day, but it is taking a while to transition to those softer foods without feeling too full, too fast.  If that happens, I don’t want anything. I will have to add protein powder to more of my meals. Gotta keep working on it until I get it right!

            As soon as I was finished with baking, dinner, and clean-up, I decorated the house -- inside and out -- for Halloween.  I love to decorate and I haven’t done it for a few years because of being in a show, having PhD courses, and the house being in various stages of renovation.  This year, I decided that I was going to decorate no matter what.  It was a lot of work and I am whooped, but I am glad that I did it.  I’d like to get a few more pieces, but we will see what I can find that fits in with what I have.  It doesn’t hurt that purple is a Halloweeny color, either. LOL  I didn’t do any extra exercise today, but I feel like the amount of walking and working around the house that I have done is sufficient.  Believe me, my body feels as if I worked out for hours. 

            This morning I was down to 207.4, which was pretty cool, and I tried on a pair of lounging pants that my Mom gave me -- a size 14/16.  Guess what? THEY FIT!  I haven’t worn that size in over 10 years!!!  It was an awesome feeling.  I am going to wear them tomorrow night to my computer training, though, so I didn’t wear them while shopping. My pants kept falling down all day -- it was pretty bad.  I think I need to stop wearing some of my clothes because they are just getting too big.  I did buy a new belt, and it is a bit too small right now.  However, it won’t be long until it fits, and I am sure it will fit by the time I go back to school.  I have a belt to use in the meantime.  Even the shirt that I am wearing now is a 14/16 and it is a bit loose.  It has never been this loose, though, so I am beginning to feel a difference and notice the way that my body is changing. It is good to feel that difference, too, because it is just another spark in the motivation.

            I am kind of nervous to see some of my co-workers tomorrow at the computer training, though.  It will be so weird to see them in my new body.  I mean, most of them have never known me at this weight.  To them, I have always been overweight.  I am excited, but, contrary to popular belief, I don’t like to be the center of attention.  Sure, when I am on stage or performing, but as Lisa, not so much.  I miss my friends, though, so I am looking forward to seeing them.  Wish me luck!

            Well, I am running out of steam, so it is time to close for the day.  Which means, until tomorrow. . . 

Happy One Month to Me!

          Today has gone by so slowly, and I have not felt right all day.  As I told a  friend, I can’t tell whether I’m getting sick, hungry, tired, gassy, or sore from dancing a bit last night.  Ugh.  I didn’t sleep well after getting in late last night/early this morning.  I tend to think that it may be a gall bladder issue, too, from the one honey BBQ boneless wing that I ate for lunch.  I did some work for the Forensic Team all afternoon while watching football -- announcements, typed the district schedule, requests for payments, revised papers and files for the team, planned the first meeting, updated the website, bus request forms. . . .oh my!  It took over six hours, and by the end of those hours, I was feeling pretty yucky.  I didn’t feel like doing anymore work or watching TV or doing dishes or anything, so I went to bed.  I couldn’t really sleep, though, and tossed and turned until around 11:30; I got up and took Cira for a 2-mile walk.  That helped a bit.  I took some Gas X Strips (You were right, Mellissa, they are becoming a good friend!) and then cleaned up the kitchen, took out the garbage, and packed Glenndini’s lunch.  Such an exciting life I lead, haha.  Now, I am at the desk hoping to do a few things and feel better soon so that I can get some sleep.  This is putting a damper on my plan to attempt a “normal” schedule tomorrow. 
            I made a pumpkin protein shake tonight, too.  I wanted to have something in my belly, but nothing too heavy.  It is pretty good, but definitely need to tweak the recipe to have it be more flavorful.  It is the basic recipe from Susan Leach’s site -- ½ cup water, 8 large ice cubes, and a scoop of protein powder.  In my case, it was vanilla powder, but this is the second shake that I’ve made with this vanilla powder that has been so-so.  I can taste the dryness of the powder, if that makes any sense.  I added a ½ cup of pumpkin, a packet of splenda, some pumpkin pie spices, and a dash of sugar-free hazelnut syrup; I don’t have sugar-free vanilla.  It tasted okay, but definitely needs something else to take it over the top.  I munched on a piece of cheese and some turkey lunch meat, too.  Never finished anything, but just munched.  I hate this feeling.  It is so disconcerting in a way and being uncomfortable makes it so hard to focus. 

            Yesterday was a similar day - very slow and just odd feeling.  I did have a good time last night when I went to see the show.  It was a nice way to celebrate my one month post-surgery anniversary.  And, my total lost was 50 pounds on the nose as of yesterday morning.  My clothes are starting to get too big, and even some of the clothes that I have saved over the years because I liked them are now too big.  I guess that I am going to have to breakdown and hit the Goodwill soon.  I know that I have Open House in two weeks, so I will buy something to wear to that, for sure.  Plus, I do need to get clothes to wear to work.

            Last night I actually enjoyed dancing for the first time in awhile.  I felt like I could move without being a big lug on the floor.  I am paying the price a bit today, but it was worth it.  Maybe losing some weight will help my ability to do some of the choreography that always challenges me when I am in a show, LOL.  We shall see. And, it felt really good to see Glenndini with a big smile when he saw me. :-) That was the best part ever. 

            But for now, it is time to close and try to get some well-needed rest.  So, until tomorrow . . .

 

Not sure if the poses interfere, but this is me before and on my one month anniversary of surgery, 9/29/12.