Back At It

           WOW!  It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, and I thank all of you for your patience and understanding as I was away for my last PhD Colloquium.  It was worth the stress and effort, though, because I have a dissertation topic!!!  WOOT!  Now, I have to finish courses, clinical internship, and comps. . .then it’s dissertation time in July.  Holy moly, it’s hard to believe that two years after starting my PhD program, I will be in the dissertation phase.  The dream is within reach!

            It was such an incredible weekend, too.  I spent some time with old friends and made some new ones.   The emails and Facebook posts have been flying since our returns home, giving each other safety wishes for the storm and encouraging words to keep plugging away toward the goal.  My table -- Becky, Jolie, Hillary, Paul, Stacey, LaShae, and Bernardo -- are people with whom a bond was formed.  Some on a personal, life-long level, and others maybe on more of a professional level, but the connection is there.  It was so rewarding to be with like-minded people and discuss professional ideas, innovations, and possibilities.  It definitely fueled my passion for what I am doing and my aspirations.  The motto for the weekend:  See you at graduation!!!

            It does make my going back to work a bit of a struggle, though.  I have to come to terms with the fact that I have come to the end of my growth in my current position.  Sure, I can make a difference in my classroom and work with colleagues to make changes, but on a district level, on a scholarly level, I have gone as far as I can go.  Although I can’t really move away at this point because I would never take my hubby away from his passion -- the band -- I can start to look elsewhere for places through which I can find fulfillment.  Change is always a bit scary, but it is time for that change to be made.

            Recovery-wise, I had a rough day.  I ate some eggs earlier and they did not go over too well. I had to go back to bed for a bit.  The protein shake that I tried afterwards did not sit too well, either.  I finally had some chili tonight and was able to stay upright.  I think my body is just not ready for the schedule that I keep, but I have no choice.  Life is what it is.  I am not able to stay home longer, and I need to work to keep things going.  I know that it will all work out in the end, but I am having a rocky time right now balancing my desire to get back to a normal routine.

            Weight-wise, things are looking good!  I am down to 194.2!!!  And, this weekend, I wore cool outfits and actually felt like a normal person.  I wore skirts and dresses and jeans and even a stylish green jacket! Oh, and I crossed my legs like a girl when sitting!  I didn’t realize it at first, but at one point while listening to a presenter, I realized that my legs were crossed at the knee, not the ankle.  It’s been years since I could do that! Plus, I spent the weekend with great friends, old and new, went out to eat, and did not feel as if I had to sacrifice anything.  I ordered a wine if I wanted it (although I never finish a glass), fish that was prepared either baked or in a way that I could enjoy, and even dessert.  Of course, I only ate a few bites of the dessert - half at most - but I never felt like I was not able to enjoy myself.  Lunch on Saturday did not go over too well, but I think that it was the way the hotel prepared the fish that did me in.  In all, this weekend demonstrated that I will be able to sustain the changes in my life because they are not preventing me from living.   

            Okey dokey, it is late and I need to get some sleep so that I am not a zombie for Halloween, unintentionally.  ;-)  It is good to be back, for sure.  Until tomorrow . . .