Well, not true leggings, but they were legging-style pants designed to be wore with high boots. BUT I WORE THEM IN PUBLIC!!! And it felt freaking awesome! I felt like the old me -- the me from high school, from college, and from early on grad school. The woman who would dance the night away and have a great time. I danced, too, and sometimes by myself. It didn't matter! I was listening to Loyal Hanna, my guys, and having a great time. Plus, I finally found boots! In fact, I found four pair of boots! I had to go to Lane Bryant to buy them, though, because no matter how much weight I lose or how thin I have ever been, my calves are not-so-thin. 18" as-a-matter-of-fact. So, I ventured to Lane Bryant and found four pair of boots. They were on sale for half off, which was incredible, too. Needless to say, I was thrilled.
Actually, I have been feeling a lot of guilt for the amount of money that I have spent on clothes and accessories lately. I know that it was an expected expense since I was going to be losing so much weight, but I feel like I have gone a bit overboard this round of shopping. Of course, shopping for the holiday put me in proximity to shopping a bit more than normal, and I think that caused me to buy a bit more. School starts Wednesday and PhD courses start on the 7th, so my time to shop will be gone. I love having so many options and feeling not so ugly in my clothes, but I know that I need to tone down the buying until I have leveled out to the size I will be. Having time to scout the thrift stores and discount racks will help the budget, too, but with the craziness of this time of year and the end of the last PhD quarter I was able to stick to sale racks in the stores in which Glenn and/or I were shopping.
The weight loss is going really well; I am down to 172.8!! I have a bit more to go -- I'd like to get down to around 130. Once there, I will see how I feel and how maintaining that weight affects me. I may end up back at 140 or so, but I want to get down to my goal weight and make decisions from there. My eating habits have changed forever, but I don't want to have to worry about every little thing that I put into my mouth just to stay at 130. I have found myself mentally "pinching" myself so many times while shopping and cleaning or going through my closets this break -- I can't believe that I am actually THIS size and THIS weight. A year ago, I never thought that I would get to this point. It is still so surreal every time I look in the mirror or try on clothes. I am so blessed and grateful to have had the chance to take such a big step as the surgery in order to make this change in my life. It has truly improved my lifestyle greatly. I am in better health - my blood pressure is low and there is no need for medication at all. My arthritis is not as painful -- I can wear normal shoes and dance without being in pain for weeks. I have more confidence -- I am not so self-confident about my appearance or people looking at me when I am out. I do not feel like I embarrass Glenn -- I always felt bad for him because he had to be seen with me. Life has just generally taken on a new direction, and I am loving it.
Glenn and I are going to try to restart our workout plan on Wednesday morning. We need to get back into the groove so that we can get even healthier and keep on track with our weight loss. I know that this will mean that I have to try and get to bed earlier so that I can get up earlier, but I am hoping that I can figure out a way to make it work. PhD courses are starting again, I have never put as much time into learning Italian as I'd hoped, I would like to audition for a show or find someone who could play guitar and do some acoustic style shows with me a few times a month, read more, cross-stitch again, play some pool with Glenn, go shopping with Glenn or friends, go shooting with Glenn . . . basically, I want to feel like I have a life and not have it be sucked up by work and school. Yes, I know that part of being in school is sacrificing some things and activities, but I really feel like school has taken over and jeopardized my relationships and mental state. I am just spent all of the time, and I need to find a way to not give up everything I love during the 10 weeks of classes.
And that, my friends, is the long and short of my New Year's resolutions. Tomorrow, I will be ringing in the New Year with my Glenndini; my guys, Loyal Hanna; friends and family; and Loyal Hanna fans who chose to celebrate with us at Blair's. In my heart, all of you will be there as I kiss my man and wish for a happier, healthier, and more successful year in 2013. Be safe in your celebrations and journeys tomorrow. Until a new year in a few days. . .
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