Five and a Half Hours!

            It is the night before surgery, and I am SOOOOO excited!  Sure, there is a bit of anxiety, but I am so pumped about getting past this step so that I can continue the journey to a new me.  I was planning to get some work finished tonight, but I am not allowed to eat or drink after midnight and actually a bit sleepy.  Plus, I am so ready for tomorrow to get here that I am going to go to bed and sleep away the few hours until I have to be at the hospital.  My time got bumped up, too, so now I report at 7:00 am, and surgery is around 9:00.  I will definitely update everyone, or have Glenn do it for me, so stay-tuned.  I am also going to do my best to keep up with my blog while in the hospital, but that will depend on how I am doing. 

            Today was productive, although I did not get everything accomplished that was on my list.  I am okay about that, though.  We went to Monroeville to buy a desk that was listed on Craig’s list; it is the exact one we looked at when shopping at Office Max about a month ago.  However, we got it for about half price. :-)  Score!  We got a new comforter and sheets at the JC Penney in Monroeville, too, because it is going out of business.  Well, it is moving to a different part of the mall.  They are a deep purple paisley with gold type design.  I love them - so pretty!  I got the house cleaned from top to bottom and set up the gym area in the basement so it is ready to go when I get home.  Laundry is done and put away, too.  There are still several house projects to do and I have to catch up on PhD work, but I will have plenty of time to do that in the hospital since I won’t have the house stuff to distract me, LOL.  In all, I am definitely not feeling as anxious about the to-do list as I have been in the past month and that makes me happy. :-)

            I am sharing a poem that I wrote many years ago entitled "Circling."  It is about being persistent while trying to find your place in the world and not giving up when a "spot" that you thought was the right one, turns out to be the wrong one or the not-so-right one.  It is one of my favorite pieces that I have written.  It is a reminder to not give up when a situation that seemed good turns out to be not good.  It has given me a lot of strength and encouragement over the last few months, so I share it with all of you so that if you find yourself in such a spot, don't be afraid to keep circling -- you will know the right one when you find it.  

            It is almost surreal that this day has arrived.  I have thought for several years that gastric bypass may be a viable option for me, but never pursued it because I did not think that it was covered by insurance.  When I found out that it was, I began this journey with gusto.  Six months ago I started my path to a new me, a healthy me, and here it is - the day of the surgery.  I need to keep reminding myself that it IS real and it IS happening.  I am so grateful to have this opportunity to jump-start my journey.  As I get ready to try and sleep, I go to bed knowing that I am a lucky woman who has an incredible husband, an awesome family, and fantabulous friends.  It is a good day to be me.

            Five and a half hours until check-in!! 

Circling

by Lisa Bompiani

Last night

as I sat sipping coffee

on my porch

I caught a shadow

across the street.

It was a movement

in the darkness,

in the glow of

the flickering bulb

a silent creature circling -

it was my neighbor’s dog.

He turned this way and that

and turned that way and this

upon his worn-in bed

sniffed and pawed

and circled again

sniffed and pawed

and circled again

sniffed and pawed

and circled again.

And I watched.

And I watched.

And I watched.

Each time his spot

was not right,

each time he stood

and went through the ritual

sniff paw circle

sniff paw circle

sniff paw circle -

There was no barking

no growling each time

He searched for that

comfortable spot

where he could settle in,

he knew it was there.

So he sniffed pawed circled 

sniffed pawed circled

sniffed pawed circled.

Last night

as I sat sipping coffee

on my porch,

I wondered if maybe I

just needed to

sniff paw circle

sniff paw circle

sniff paw circle.

I know my spot is out there -

no growling,

no barking.

Just circle again

Just circle again

Just circle again.