My Glenndini

            I had planned to write about beginning the full liquid protein diet that starts when I wake up tomorrow, but I decided to give some kudos to my hubby instead.  I will write about the liquid diet after the first full day.         

            I do not think Glenn knows how much I love him, or the joy and happiness he brings to my life.  When I met him, I was not looking for someone.  Sure, I missed companionship and love in my life, but I was still adamant about never getting married again.  Little did I know how quickly I would change my mind after meeting Glenn.  We met on Yahoo personals, chatted, talked on the phone, and met three days later.  The Friday after Thanksgiving, 2006.  In fact, I met Glenn and his entire family! Brother, sister-in-law, parents, cousins from Michigan, lol.  We were at a gig for his brother’s band-at-the-time.  When he walked me to my car at the end of the night, we had a quick kiss and made plans to hang out the next night when he was done with work.  I got into the car and said, “Shit. Shit. Shit.”  I SO did not want to like someone, but he got me.  As Kenny Chesney sang, he had me from hello. 

            We became an “official couple” New Year’s Day, 2007, and were married March 31, 2009.  Sure, we’ve had a few rough patches, but we've gotten through them together.  I cannot imagine where I’d be without him.  He supports me in everything I do, from the time I spend doing work for my job, to the time I put into earning my PhD, to my insane Wizard of Oz collection, to my love for theater.  He comes to every show I am in and is my biggest fan.  He puts up with my cats, too, and doesn’t mind that I like Coach purses.  :-) We both love music and the beach, and he is all for my dream of going to Italy.  I am so proud of him for taking a risk and starting his own business, Glenndini Productions.  And, I am über proud of him and his band, The Loyal Hanna Band.  Sometimes our lives get so crazy busy that we don’t see each other too much, but he is the reason that I smile each and every day of my life, plain and simple.  I hope he knows that he is stuck with me because he is mine and I love him.

            Now, I know that I am not an ugly woman and that beauty is so much more than a person’s physicality, but I do not feel attractive or sexy -- anything.  I feel ashamed and disappointed.  I look in the mirror and see this woman who is twice the size that she used to be.  I can’t imagine why or how anyone could find me physically attractive and want to be intimate.  I can’t imagine wearing a bathing suit in front of people who actually know me.  I’d like to paint my toenails and be able to breathe while doing so.  I’d like to button my pants without having to look in the mirror to see the buttons or belt.  I miss shopping at Gabe’s (discount store in my area) or on sale racks and finding awesome bargains.  I appear confident outwardly, but inside there is a lot of hidden sadness and anxiety.  Thank goodness I am an actress because it helps to cover those feelings many times. 

            Knowing that I have such an incredible man supporting me makes this journey I am taking so much more worthwhile and less scary.  He absolutely makes me feel like I am the most attractive woman on earth.  I want to be the best woman I can be most importantly for myself, but just as importantly for Glenn.  For us.  I know that he loves me no matter what I weigh, but I cannot wait until I can wear some cute, sexy clothes for him! Maybe even a red sundress, as the song says. ;-)  I love you, Glenndini.  You are the rock that makes me roll. 

Our engagement

Our wedding