Great Day

     Today was a long day, but a good one.  My phone did not charge overnight because the charger was not working, so I did not wake up until later than I had wanted.  I spent the morning taking care of some paperwork and doing discussion posts for PhD courses.  Then, it was time to get ready for our evening out.  We met friends for dinner and then went to see Craig Ferguson at The Palace.  Dinner was yummy - we went to J. Corks.  I ordered a scallops dinner and ate two of the scallops with three of the green beans;  it was scrumptious.  I even had a bit of white wine and a bite of hot pretzel appetizer.  The dinner came with mac-n-cheese, gourmet of course, and I had one little noodle.  It was good, but I didn't want to overeat and be miserable during the show.  It was so nice to relax with good friends and just talk and hang out.  
      The show was hilarious, and I laughed the entire time.  Ferguson is a nut, that's for sure.  He was just going and going the entire time.  His opening act was the guy who is the voice behind Geoff, the skeleton robot on his show.  I will never hear Morgan Freeman's voice the same way again, LOL.  They were a bit raunchy, but funny.  I would definitely go see them again. 
      Tomorrow I will be going to school for Open House.  I am a bit nervous, for sure.  I am going to get to school around 3:00 so that I can work in my room prior to Open House and get ready for Monday, as I said.  I think that getting back into a routine will be the best way to help me start to get a grip on things again.  I know that when I don't have to do anything, I tend not to, so I am hoping that is my biggest issue at the moment.  When I won't have tomorrow to work on something, I might feel more motivated to get things done today.  Only time will tell. 
      Well, it is time to try and sleep, if I can get comfortable and fend of gas and back pains for a bit.  Until tomorrow. . . 

Gotta Keep Pushing On

The Internet is back!  The Comcast tech was here on time, and not only fixed us up with wireless, but also fixed the TV connections so that we have much better picture.  Thanks, Comcast guy!  Of course, with the Internet fixed, I had to do some work this morning, so I did get a few things accomplished (like cleaning the oven) before I took a nap.  Glenn went hunting after work, so I did a few things around the house.  I made him stuffed hot peppers for dinner, but this time put some of the seeds and crushed red pepper flakes in with the ground turkey.  Also, I included onions, green pepper, and red pepper.  I sprinkled some crumbled blue cheese on top, too.  I made the shrimp spread from Leach’s book, but I am not a fan -- too much of an onion flavor from the scallions.  I am so bummed. I was looking forward to it so much!!  I hope Glenndini likes it, or I will have to be creative about a use for it.  I hate to throw it away.

            I spent the evening doing work for PhD courses and trying to not feel so overwhelmed.  I did make a pretty big dent in the list, so I am feeling better.  I am hoping that when I get back to work and rehearsal and course work and forensics and . . .well, you get the picture . . . .that I will feel an increase in my motivation and focus.  I know that not taking my depression/anxiety med is probably still a factor in my inability to focus and absence of motivation to return to work, but I am hoping that it is also a case of “doing nothing” equaling “not wanting to do anything”.  Does that make sense?  It is nice to be able to take care of the house, laundry, cleaning, pack lunches, etc. rather than have them hanging over my head, but I know that not having to HAVE to have things done plays a factor in not getting them done.  I just want to be able to enjoy things, and I know that when I get back to work, things will become insanely busy again.  I don’t like the feeling of guilt I experience when I go to see the band instead of stay home to grade papers or do course work.  It is just a matter of finding that balance and ways to cope that work for me - without the help of medication.

            Tomorrow I am going to “get purpled” -- my hair done.  I have to stop at the YWCA Thrift Shop in Greensburg, too, to find some clothes to wear.  I need to do that for work, and I don’t want to buy new clothes every time I need a new size.  I need some new shoes, too, but I think that my feet have lost weight.  Is that possible?   Were even my feet fat?  Geez.  Then, I need to stop at Unique Ink to drop off/discuss the tattoo.  As my Facebook post noted, I narrowed the lyric, and I think that I may end up with both.  I just can’t decide, and I do like both.  They both have a place in my heart and who I am as a person.  Definitely need to talk to the artist and figure it out.  Tomorrow night the band is at Teddy’s in Irwin for an acoustic show.  I am really going to try and go.  I may have to take the laptop and do some work, but that is okay.  I can have a decaf and enjoy some good tunes. :-) Glenn is going hunting again after work, so if he gets a deer, he may not make it.  Might be a true acoustic show, LOL.  But we will be eatin’ good if so!!

            Well, I am going to read a bit for enjoyment before I try to get some sleep.  Until tomorrow. . . 

Here I Go . . .

This weekend has been a long one, although good.  I have felt kind of funky all weekend -- just gassy and uncomfortable.  I looked online this morning and apparently the gas that they pump into you during surgery can take many weeks to work out of your system.  I think that the back pain that I’ve been having is because of this gas.  I had a good time at the baby shower/Open House yesterday, too; it was nice to visit with folks that we haven’t seen for awhile.  We stopped home to let Cira out, and I just wasn’t feeling up to going out for the rest of the evening, so we ended up staying in.  I started reading Mockingjay, though, and it is fabulous.  I actually fell asleep with it on my face, LOL.  I only have a few more pages to go, so I am hoping to finish it tonight or tomorrow.  
PhD classes start this week, so no more thoughts of relaxing for me.  As usual, I did not get much of anything accomplished in the three-week break between quarters.  At least I don’t feel as if I did.  I have one class and my clinical internship -- which are the online courses that I am developing that I keep talking about -- but based on the syllabi that I printed tonight, the quarter is going to once again eat away at my life.  I wish that I could take a sabbatical.  It would allow me to focus on my course work without always feeling so run down and exhausted, or guilty for doing something other than school work or course work.  Also, I have the last four-day Colloquia coming up in a few weeks. Yikes!!! At the last one, I start to really narrow down my thinking and put my dissertation ideas on paper.  AAHH!!  Wow, that is a great feeling and a scary as hell feeling at the same time.  I mean, I have some ideas, but not anything too set-in-stone.  I better do some serious thinking in the next few weeks!  
Eating today has been pretty low-key.  I certainly didn’t overeat this weekend, but having two get-togethers/parties, I did eat “normal” food.  I had some pumpkin cream of wheat for breakfast, a Colby jack cheese stick for lunch, two BelVita crackers with Justin’s Chocolate Almond Butter for snack, and two vegetarian “chicken” nuggets with a bit of sauce and mozzarella on them for dinner.  I am a bit hungry at the moment, but at this point it is only a protein drink, if anything.  I do feel a bit better; not such a heavy feeling.  
Well, I can feel the stress level rising as I think about the amount of work that I need to accomplish, so I am going to attempt some sleep.  The Comcast tech person will be here between 10:00 and noon to install wireless since out router pooped out.  I tried to reinstall the software, but our laptops are too new for it.  So, time to upgrade.  Thus, I must try to get some rest so that I can be ready to get to work once the system is restored. 
Until tomorrow. . . 

Great Friday

            Well, this has been a long, busy day, but a good one.  Last night, I crashed around 9:30 and didn’t wake up until 7:00 this morning.  It was a quick cup of pumpkin spice coffee before the house cleaning began.  Scrubbing, dusting, vacuuming, . . . ugh.  Then, I was off for some errands.  I stopped at Unique Ink and ordered a new nose stud -- purple rhinestone -- and scheduled an appointment to get some artwork for my poppies and U2 lyric tattoo.  Yippee!  Once I get that one, I will get one for Puck.  I am still not sure where I want that one, so I am holding off until I figure it out.  The poppies and lyrics will be on my foot/ankle. 

            We had a few people over tonight -- my parents, friend Greg, and friends Gary & Angela & their son Bry -- for a small campfire. I made some turkey chili, which was really good, and bought stuff for s’mores.  I even enjoyed a few bites of a s’more and a piece of chocolate, as well as a few sips of wine and a bit of margarita.  I felt fine.  Now I certainly wasn’t guzzling anything or eating a complete serving of anything, but it did feel good to know that I could have a taste of things while at a party or something.  We sat around the fire pit and BS’ed for awhile.  No rain spoiled the evening, either. :-)

            Tomorrow is a busy day, too.  A baby shower and a band performance to see.  I hope to get a few things done in the morning, but I am not sure how early I will be climbing out of bed.  I have been on the go since I woke up, and a looking forward to going to bed soon.  Sunday will be auditions for McKeesport Little Theater’s children’s shows for Christmas.  I know that it will be a lot of work, but I really miss it.  Plus, PhD courses start again Tuesday, so I need to get into the course rooms and print the all of the information and weekly lessons.  Time to really think about balance again.

            This morning the scale read 203.8 but I am sure that after tonight it may be up a bit.  Not that I ate a lot but I did have more sugary types of food than normal.  I have done a ton of walking this week, along with cleaning and decorating, so exercising is becoming a good thing.  Monday begins the workout schedule.  I know that I was planning to do some of the days for the end of this week, but time is running out.  I feel much better today; my back is not nearly as sore as it has been throughout the beginning of the week.  Thank goodness!  The pain was really starting to become unbearable.  It must have known that I bought some Tylenol, lol.  I called the Dr. to see what I was allowed to take, and Sandy told me that I am allowed topicals and Tylenol, but no anti-inflammatories or steroids.  I didn’t ask about cold medicines, but that will be the question for when I have a cold.

            Well, not much to share today, but it has gotten much later and I am in need of sleep.  So, until tomorrow. . . 

Hump Day Happenings

            Hello, Friends!  Last night was another night that just snuck up on me and I was tuckered out from a busy day.  I haven’t felt 100% the last couple of days -- probably because I completely overdid it on Monday.  But I like having my Halloween decorations up and ready to be enjoyed.  At any rate, I had not slept much Monday night, so yesterday kicked my butt.  I did walk on the treadmill and do some arm weights when I woke up, ate an egg for breakfast, packed my computer and school bag, got ready, and headed to school for the workshop.  Afterwards, I had to stop for a few groceries that I had forgotten on Monday.  I hate that - I have a list, and I STILL forget things.  Grr.  Anyway, it was nice to see my friends from school, and once the workshop started, I slipped right back into my old self, joking and asking questions, and trying to lighten the mood so-to-speak.  I mean, who wants to sit through three hours of computer training after working all day, right?  I did learn a few things, though, so I was happy with it.  Of course, since I am developing two online courses, I had a higher stake in the workshop than most.  I don’t know that I am ready to go back to school whole-hog, but I don’t really have a choice now, do I? LOL. 

            When I got home, I did a few odds-and-ends while watching the NCISes with Glenndini, had a snack, and promptly realized that I needed to sleep.  I woke up this morning with an incredible back ache so after I packed Glenndini’s lunch, I went back to bed with a heating pad that didn't do the trick, so I switched to Icy Hot.  I think that I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.  When I finally rolled out of bed, I knew that exercise was not happening.  I did some paperworky types of things, made some phone calls, and then went to pick up my niece to go out for her “birthday date”.  I started taking my niece and nephew out for their birthdays so that we could have dinner, visit, and then they could shop for their own present.  Caitlin has grown into such a beautiful, intelligent young woman, and I truly had a great time just being with her.  I am so blessed that at 15 (OMG!  FIFTEEN!!!) that she still wants to spend time with “Aunt Lis”.  We talked about going to see Frankenweenie next weekend with Ryan, and then having a sleepover.  That would be fabulous, so I hope it works out.  She and I used to watch Nightmare Before Christmas when she was only two and three, and she knew the entire movie off-by-heart.  Now, we can enjoy another Tim Burton creation. 

            I also tried on a “one-size-fits-all” shawl type of jacket and guess what?? It fit!  I didn’t try anything on except a couple pairs of shoes, but I was excited to think that I could find clothes to wear at JCP.  We played at Sephora, too, and I really hate to admit it, but I like to experiment with make-up and stuff.  For so long, I haven’t because I haven’t felt pretty or as if I should waste time and money on myself because I wouldn’t look good anyway.  Today, I wanted to have a full-blown make-over and buy so much stuff!  It was fun to play around with stuff. I might have to have a make-up service appointment so that I can learn a bit more about the various products that they sell. 

            Eating wasn’t a big deal today, either.  I had an egg, like I said, for breakfast.  We went to Eat-n-Park for dinner and they were great.  I ordered a piece of cod baked, in water.  My sides were cottage cheese and applesauce.  Of course, I only ate a few bites of each of the sides and half of the fish.  But it was good, and I was happy.  I had decaf, too, not even a whole cup.  Tonight, I had a piece of cheese with some hummus and a few Special K crackers.  I can use the hummus and cheese to crunch up the crackers really well.  And, my nightcap was a cookies and cream protein shake, recipe from Susan Leach.  I made it with chocolate protein powder instead of vanilla, and it is yummy, yummy. Of course, I only had a few sips and I am full, so I can look forward to finishing it tomorrow.  I use her book for the recipes, but I am pretty sure they can be found on her website, www.bariatriceating.com.  The foods are GOOD, but simply watch portion size, sugar and fat content, and carb count.  Glenndini has enjoyed everything that I have made so far, and we do not feel as if we are being shortchanged on taste at all.  Give some a try - you might be surprised! 

            Tomorrow is a busy day, too, but I need to spend some time getting some more work down for the online courses.  I made my to-do list, and I need to try and conquer it. Also, my friend sent the work out plan, so I want to hit that running.  I can start it on Sunday according to the schedule, but I can still do the days for the remainder of this week to get into a routine.  So, I am going to end this and try to get to sleep before it is more tomorrow than it already is. 

            Until tomorrow. . . 

Shopping, and Cooking, and Decorating, Oh My!

            Another long, long day, but a productive one.  I am literally aching and sore all over.  I have been on my feet since 2:30 this afternoon.  I visited with a friend for an hour or so, bought a baby gift at Target (Woo Hoo, Jen and Mike!), and then did the grocery shopping.  As soon as I got home and got everything put away, I made Glenndini some oatmeal cookies.  It is a Weight Watchers recipe, and pretty yummy.  It uses apples and Splenda blend brown sugar.  Then, I put the stuffed mushrooms I bought for him in the oven with some sauce and blue cheese.  Then, I made the pizza casserole from Susan Leach’s book for dinner/lunches for the next couple days.  THEN, I made the spiced pumpkin custard from her book, too.  I haven’t tried one of those yet; however, the pizza bake was really tasty, even without the fennel seed.  Giant Eagle did not have fennel seed, so I will be on the lookout for it in other stores since she claims it really adds to the taste of the meal.  I only ate a scrambled egg with cheese, a small bit of the pizza bake, and sipped on my pumpkin shake from yesterday.  I have been trying to drink water all day, but just don’t have room.  I have to get some more protein in during the day, but it is taking a while to transition to those softer foods without feeling too full, too fast.  If that happens, I don’t want anything. I will have to add protein powder to more of my meals. Gotta keep working on it until I get it right!

            As soon as I was finished with baking, dinner, and clean-up, I decorated the house -- inside and out -- for Halloween.  I love to decorate and I haven’t done it for a few years because of being in a show, having PhD courses, and the house being in various stages of renovation.  This year, I decided that I was going to decorate no matter what.  It was a lot of work and I am whooped, but I am glad that I did it.  I’d like to get a few more pieces, but we will see what I can find that fits in with what I have.  It doesn’t hurt that purple is a Halloweeny color, either. LOL  I didn’t do any extra exercise today, but I feel like the amount of walking and working around the house that I have done is sufficient.  Believe me, my body feels as if I worked out for hours. 

            This morning I was down to 207.4, which was pretty cool, and I tried on a pair of lounging pants that my Mom gave me -- a size 14/16.  Guess what? THEY FIT!  I haven’t worn that size in over 10 years!!!  It was an awesome feeling.  I am going to wear them tomorrow night to my computer training, though, so I didn’t wear them while shopping. My pants kept falling down all day -- it was pretty bad.  I think I need to stop wearing some of my clothes because they are just getting too big.  I did buy a new belt, and it is a bit too small right now.  However, it won’t be long until it fits, and I am sure it will fit by the time I go back to school.  I have a belt to use in the meantime.  Even the shirt that I am wearing now is a 14/16 and it is a bit loose.  It has never been this loose, though, so I am beginning to feel a difference and notice the way that my body is changing. It is good to feel that difference, too, because it is just another spark in the motivation.

            I am kind of nervous to see some of my co-workers tomorrow at the computer training, though.  It will be so weird to see them in my new body.  I mean, most of them have never known me at this weight.  To them, I have always been overweight.  I am excited, but, contrary to popular belief, I don’t like to be the center of attention.  Sure, when I am on stage or performing, but as Lisa, not so much.  I miss my friends, though, so I am looking forward to seeing them.  Wish me luck!

            Well, I am running out of steam, so it is time to close for the day.  Which means, until tomorrow. . . 

Happy One Month to Me!

          Today has gone by so slowly, and I have not felt right all day.  As I told a  friend, I can’t tell whether I’m getting sick, hungry, tired, gassy, or sore from dancing a bit last night.  Ugh.  I didn’t sleep well after getting in late last night/early this morning.  I tend to think that it may be a gall bladder issue, too, from the one honey BBQ boneless wing that I ate for lunch.  I did some work for the Forensic Team all afternoon while watching football -- announcements, typed the district schedule, requests for payments, revised papers and files for the team, planned the first meeting, updated the website, bus request forms. . . .oh my!  It took over six hours, and by the end of those hours, I was feeling pretty yucky.  I didn’t feel like doing anymore work or watching TV or doing dishes or anything, so I went to bed.  I couldn’t really sleep, though, and tossed and turned until around 11:30; I got up and took Cira for a 2-mile walk.  That helped a bit.  I took some Gas X Strips (You were right, Mellissa, they are becoming a good friend!) and then cleaned up the kitchen, took out the garbage, and packed Glenndini’s lunch.  Such an exciting life I lead, haha.  Now, I am at the desk hoping to do a few things and feel better soon so that I can get some sleep.  This is putting a damper on my plan to attempt a “normal” schedule tomorrow. 
            I made a pumpkin protein shake tonight, too.  I wanted to have something in my belly, but nothing too heavy.  It is pretty good, but definitely need to tweak the recipe to have it be more flavorful.  It is the basic recipe from Susan Leach’s site -- ½ cup water, 8 large ice cubes, and a scoop of protein powder.  In my case, it was vanilla powder, but this is the second shake that I’ve made with this vanilla powder that has been so-so.  I can taste the dryness of the powder, if that makes any sense.  I added a ½ cup of pumpkin, a packet of splenda, some pumpkin pie spices, and a dash of sugar-free hazelnut syrup; I don’t have sugar-free vanilla.  It tasted okay, but definitely needs something else to take it over the top.  I munched on a piece of cheese and some turkey lunch meat, too.  Never finished anything, but just munched.  I hate this feeling.  It is so disconcerting in a way and being uncomfortable makes it so hard to focus. 

            Yesterday was a similar day - very slow and just odd feeling.  I did have a good time last night when I went to see the show.  It was a nice way to celebrate my one month post-surgery anniversary.  And, my total lost was 50 pounds on the nose as of yesterday morning.  My clothes are starting to get too big, and even some of the clothes that I have saved over the years because I liked them are now too big.  I guess that I am going to have to breakdown and hit the Goodwill soon.  I know that I have Open House in two weeks, so I will buy something to wear to that, for sure.  Plus, I do need to get clothes to wear to work.

            Last night I actually enjoyed dancing for the first time in awhile.  I felt like I could move without being a big lug on the floor.  I am paying the price a bit today, but it was worth it.  Maybe losing some weight will help my ability to do some of the choreography that always challenges me when I am in a show, LOL.  We shall see. And, it felt really good to see Glenndini with a big smile when he saw me. :-) That was the best part ever. 

            But for now, it is time to close and try to get some well-needed rest.  So, until tomorrow . . .

 

Not sure if the poses interfere, but this is me before and on my one month anniversary of surgery, 9/29/12.