I Gotta Let Me Be Me

            Just made some pureed egg whites with cheese, dash of salt & pepper, and three spritzes of butter.  It is very yummy. :-)   Also, I packed Glenndini’s lunch and made a new batch of puddings and jellos.  We should be stocked up for a few days, LOL.  As I make these small meals or do these little things in the kitchen, I am getting excited about trying some new recipes from my Biggest Loser cookbook.  There are some great looking recipes that will let us eat good food and be healthy at the same time.  Susan Leach’s book has a recipe for hummus.  Can we discuss how much I love hummus?  I need to find something that I can eat with it that resembles a cracker without the carbs.  Maybe some low fat, low carb tortillas roasted just a bit to be a tad crunchy . . . gotta check into that!

            I went to LA Fitness and talked to Steve.  I think that I am going to join on Friday.  I am not sure which plan I want to go with as far as no initiation fee, higher monthly payment -- or high initiation fee, low monthly payment.  I feel guilty about spending the money to join a gym when I have the equipment in the basement; however, I know that this will motivate me to go and I can work with a trainer to get some focus on my triceps and stomach so that I am not too flabby as I lose the weight.  If I stop on the way home, exercise will happen.  If I think that I will do it once I get home, not so much.  I use my floor pedaler, light free weights, and such, but a true workout needs to happen in a way that I feel obligated.  Plus, when I am around other people who exercise, it is motivating and makes me want to do it even more so.  I need to chat with Glenndini a bit more and see which plan works best for me and our pocketbook. 

            I really miss being able to walk Cira, though.  I had been talking her for walks every night/ridiculously early morning and looked forward to it.  Plus, it is getting to be cooler weather and I would love to take her geocaching.  Not for a while longer, though, because she pulls on me too hard and I do not want to risk injuring myself or messing up my incisions or surgical sites.  Hopefully by mid-October I will be able to get back to our walking routine.  Her little face breaks my heart when I let her out and she looks at me as if to say, “Aren’t we going for a walk, Mom?” 

            Being the nerdy English teacher that I am, I love to read and to write.  I have written several poems over the years, many of which I am proud, and I have tons of lines scrawled onto napkins, scraps of paper, margins, etc. that have not found their home as of yet.  I was rearranging things in the office, including where my writing journals are stored, and came across this blurb:

So I gotta take it easy

Gotta take it slow

Gotta keep in mind

Gotta try to see

That no matter how high I climb

No matter how low I go

I gotta let me be me

Nothing fancy, but it struck me because it hit upon the reason that surgery has meant so much to me.  It is a tool by which I can let me be me -- again.  That last line should be everyone’s mantra; when things seem to be getting you down or you are feeling out-of-whack, repeat it to yourself while smiling.  Be who you are, and be proud!

            Until tomorrow. . . .