No Time To Be This Tired

           Boy, today has been a long day and I have not felt well all day.  I am trying to work up to a full day of activity, but the last few days have just caught up to me.  I fell asleep during the football games and am getting ready to go to bed shortly.  It is not going to be a typical all-nighter for me today.  I have had stomach cramps all day, and eating and drinking have not helped.  I am hoping that it is just gas.  I really think that I have overdone it a bit physically, but there are just too many things to get accomplished and I can’t relax when I am home and know that they need to be done.  Yes, I know that they will be there tomorrow, but that’s the kind of thinking that keeps them on the to-do list.  No one will be here to do them for me, so I need to bite the bullet and get them finished.  I hate how tired I feel all of the time.  I don’t have time to be tired.  Thank goodness I go to the doctor’s tomorrow - I just have too many questions that I need to have answered.  

            Tomorrow is another long day.  I have to get up in the morning and prime the porch so that the wood will not get ruined if it rains.  The porch is coming along! My hubby and father-in-law worked long and hard today to get most of the framing done -- until they ran out of wood. It is going to be awesome!  Glenn found an online company that can make the screens for the top portion of the porch for a little over $200, which is not bad and will save so much time and headache.  It is finally starting to come together. Someday soon I will be able to enjoy the evening on my porch. :-)

            I am coming to terms with the fact that relaxation is not going to occur for the rest of my leave, too.  I am a bit bummed about that because I had visions of reading and cross-stitching, but those are slowly fading and reality is taking over.  I just have too many things to accomplish for school so that I can at least have half of a chance at being able to keep up when I go back, stuff to get ready for speech and debate season, the two online classes to develop that are my internship for my PhD program, and another quarter of PhD classes that will be starting in two weeks.  Needless to say, maybe I will get one book read, but with all of that and keeping up with the house, well, there is no relaxation in my future.  It is really starting to bum me out.  I don’t know why it is so hard for me to just accept that I will never be able to just sit around and do what I want for a day, but sometimes I get so angry. I know that some of the work is because of projects that I undertake, but I am just so tired and burned out.  I didn’t realize how much so until now.  As much as I love my job, I have caught myself wishing for a job where I didn’t have to bring anything home and when I came home, I came home.  Then I could focus on singing and acting and reading and writing and  . . . well, all of the things that I never have time to do because I have to do stuff for work.  I feel so selfish thinking that way; who do I think I am thinking that I deserve that kind of life?  I have to work hard and suck it up like everyone else.  Oh well, no sense in wishing. . . I just have to work really hard to get over it and quit whining.  As Scarlett said, “Tomorrow is another day!”

             So, until tomorrow. . .