Walk On

            Sorry that I missed posting yesterday, but last night was a late one and I crashed.  I have not been taking naps, and the last few days have kicked my butt.  My friend Greg took me to run some errands, and between my nails (I know, not important, but I wanted them done because they make me feel pretty), Barnes & Noble, Target, and Walmart, I was exhausted.  He is a real trooper and a wonderful friend because not only did he drive me around and help carry all of my heavy stuff, but also lug it into my house. I am a lucky girl to have such great friends.

            Today has been a busy one, too, but busy and productive, so I don’t mind.  I think the loss of weight, better eating, and added physical activity have contributed to the “no nap” behavior.  I am feeling good and have energy, so I don’t want the naps as often.  That is a great feeling.  Of course, getting on the scale this morning and weighing only 219.8 was a pretty good motivator!  GOODBYE 220s!!!!  Wooooooooo Hooooooooooo!  I also tried one of the protein shakes from the book by Susan Leach.  Boy, was it yummy!  Peanut Butter Cup.  Peanut Butter is one of my favs!  I had some pureed refried beans with cheese and a little skim to make them more like soup.  Some may make a face, but they were yummy!! For dinner I had some yogurt with pureed pears that had been soaked in blackberry and acai juices.  Good, good stuff!  I even made Glenn some stuff peppers today and wasn’t really tempted to eat any of them - even if I would have been able to eat them.  I know that there will be a day when I will be able to enjoy regular foods in moderation, but I refuse to mess this up.  I plan to make my new beginning my everyday normal in the future.

            I noticed today that my yoga pants are starting to get very baggy. . . .:-)  They used to be skin tight, but now they are lose.  These little victories are keeping me so motivated!  I have been doing some tricep, bicep, and chest exercises with my two pound weights while reading, or when taking a thinking break while working.  I use my floor pedaler like crazy, and tonight even put on my ankle weights.  I can’t wait until I am able to take Cira for walks again!  Poor thing.  She does pull pretty hard sometimes, and I don’t want to risk injuring my incisions or stomach and stoma inside.  I meet with Dr. Z. on Monday, so I am going to ask him about a time frame. 

            I bought a blood pressure machine last night so that I could monitor it at home; remember, I am not taking any of my medications again.  I stopped the Lisinopril and Zoloft before surgery and am working hard not to take them again.  My blood pressure last night was only 112/59!  Yes! I think that I am going to be fine in that department, but I am going to monitor it.  If it goes up, I will visit the doctor to take care of it.  As for the Zoloft, I don’t feel too bad without it, either. I have noticed that I am very OCD about getting certain tasks accomplished and tend to be manic in my talking habits, lol.  I think that part of the talkativeness is because I don’t see people throughout the day, so when I am with them, I talk, talk, talk.  My speech is very fast, too.  I must really work on this aspect of recovery.  With the OCD, I have always had a to-do list, and if everything didn’t get finished by a certain time, I could move on to things that had to be finished.  Not so much now; I start working through the list, and refuse to stop until everything I wanted to get accomplished is complete.  Then, I relax and do school work.  Hopefully this stage of post-meds will pass quickly.  I appreciate the patience that my friends and family who are round me through this are showing.   This too shall pass, and the journey continues.  

            Tomorrow I will be going to see Glenn’s band play at a fundraiser for Animal Friends of Westmoreland - Bandz for Bonez.  It is in New Stanton at the Econolodge.  Should be a wonderful day and another step toward the future on this journey.  For now, it is time to get back to work and then get some rest.  

A favorite lyric of my favorite band, U2, is "Walk On."  Very simple, but says so much in those two words.  No matter how big of a struggle something may seem, you can't turn back. Stay strong and walk on.